At the leisurely hour of nine, we climbed out of bed, sitting as much as possible before it was time to head out. I finished Barry Ween and Brad started me on PvP, which I’d never really read before. Here’s the weird thing: I didn’t feel hyped or particularly rushed to get there. Normally on mornings before amusement parks, my whole deal is getting there as early as possible and not dawdling and having fun fun fun! This morning, I was pretty much on board with relaxing. I wonder if that means I’m growing as a person. Jeez, I hope not.
After a brief jaunt to the car-repair place so Kay could swap out her rental for her awesome hybrid, we sped toward the two parks we hadn’t had time for yesterday. First stop: Animal Kingdom!
Now, here’s the deal. Animal Kingdom was the park I probably had the least interest in. At least for this trip, I wasn’t all that into the safari, and I’ve never really been much of an animal-watcher. (Plus, I had to wonder if, instead of being divided by “Worlds,” like the Magic Kingdom and EPCOT, it would be divided by “Phylums.” When it wasn’t, I was sort of disappointed.) A big part of me also wondered if the park hadn’t sprung whole from The Lion King; where all the other parks seemed to coalesce around a whole Disney theme, this one seemed very much based on one movie and one aesthetic.
That being said, I had a pretty amazing time inside the Animal Kingdom. At the gate, Kay and Brad spotted the Pin Trading Station before I did and rushed right over with me. (I had sort of high hopes for finding the Robin Hood pin here, using the same logic as I had with the UK area of EPCOT: well, Robin Hood’s an animal, right? In fact, the narration specifically mentions the fact that this is the “animal kingdom” version of the legend. So sure! Why not!?) The cool thing about this, started here and reiterated throughout the day, is that Kay and Brad seemed just as interested in helping me find the pin as I was in finding it myself. I’m not sure if it’s that they were sparked on by my charming obsessive nature, or that – despite the fact that this wasn’t their deal – they both understood the nature of collecting, or, and probably most obviously, they’re both just awesome people. In any event, scouring the pin trading stations became an essential backbone to our day at Disneyworld, giving the experience structure and an added level of fun. It was the best day!
The best thing about Animal Kingdom was, of course, the Expedition Everest ride. Almost everyone I talked to about Disney had advice on all other aspects of the park, but because Everest was brand-new, it was a complete unknown. I was going into it blind and I was a little nervous about it. Me and roller coasters, I tell you.
What’s cool about Everest is what’s cool about a lot of Disney: the ride is completely immersive. The line-wait (which actually didn’t take all that long) takes you through the “base camp” station and the Yeti Museum, packed full of Yeti “artifacts” to enhance the realism of the whole ride. The basic truth here holds with the basic truth of all of Disney: if you believe, you’re going to have a lot more fun.
Brad ducked out as Kay and I clambered aboard a train car (me chickening out at the last moment and moving away from the front seat. I like coasters, don’t get me wrong, but the ride has to prove itself to me before I’m willing to brave the front.) One of the best Disney innovations – something that all parks should be equipped with – is small baskets located in every ride car for glasses and hats. How perfect is that idea? We took off from the station and started climbing.
Now, here’s where I usually lose my cool. The coaster experience itself is often super fun for me, but that first climb fucks my shit up. Disney had some fun with that part, having us ride up in the open air for part of it, then ducking into a pagoda-shaped tunnel for awhile before breaking back out into the open.
“Wow,” Kay marveled. “Look out to the right. You can see the whole park!”
“No.” I stopped just short of squeezing my eyes closed, and simply stared ahead.
“Oh, wow, it’s so pretty! You should really…”
“Yeah, no.”
As she cracked up, we crested the rise and proceeded to plummet. We rose again, and in front of us, the tracks had been torn up, and simply ended. Beyond that, all we could see was sky. Oh noes! The Yeti had been here!
Then we sped backward, screeching to a halt, and saw a silhouette-animation of the Yeti tearing more track up. It was actually kind of scary, if you let yourself be scared. Then more plummeting and the train went out of control!
Yes, kids, I loved Expedition Everest so much that I devoted an entire page to talking about it. After the ride, we all headed toward the Kali River Rapids and got super drenched (I had the foresight to take my shirt off and let my pasty-white flab out for all to see); at one point, I nearly lost my glasses and caught them just as they were about to fall over the edge of the boat. Then, right back to Everest! Oo-de-lally!
One last bit about Animal Kingdom: inside, there’s this dinosaur-themed mini-park, which looks very much like a carnival that just swung into town. There are mini-roller coasters and Whack-a-Moles and stuff like that. And this one ride, this Dino-Whirl thing, had no right being as fun as it was. After I got off, I was dizzy but gleeful. And on the search for cotton candy.
The Animal Kingdom thoroughly awesomed out, we headed out to Disney Studios, a park I was very keen on exploring. The Disney “thing” for me – whatever it is – started with the movies. The very first movie I remember seeing, when I was four and going to the theater with my Dad a lot, was The Fox and the Hound. That parlayed into a huge love of movies in general, and going to Disney Studios was going to underline all of that.
Man, was I right on. Everything about Disney Studios – from the movie-lot-looking Main Street to the shops and the restaurants – everything was like being backstage at the movies. More Disney immersion, and I was all for it. Plus, plus: my favorite ride of all of Disneyworld was here. Brad had done the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror once, and for him, once was enough. For me, over the course of the next two days, I would do the ride three times, more than any other. For me, it was the absolute most terrifying ride of the park, but also pretty damn fun, too. I’ve loved The Twilight Zone my entire life, and being inside the Tower of Terror “hotel” was like being inside an episode. How fucking awesome is that? Here’s me, freaking out:
Notice the kid in the back, bored beyond belief at the absolute, bone-rending terror going on. That douchebag is the enemy of fun. Also, notice me clutching Kay. I was just protecting her, is the thing. It wasn’t because I was scared. Nope.
After some brief ride problems, we leapt onto the Aersosmith Rock N Rollercoaster. 1: I had no idea it went upside down. 2. Or started off that fast. 3. Or that “Just Push Play” is actually a pretty awesome song, if you think about it.
We didn’t spend much longer at Disney Studios; only long enough to see a “movie” sequence being played out by a ditzy woman called Babs and a chubby dude being the “director.” Right before we headed out, my hankering for cotton candy was sated, which spelled for a delightfully sugary boat ride to EPCOT.
As soon as we docked, we sped to Norway. There was lunch to be had! (As we sat:
Me: “Hey, Brad?”
Brad: “What?”
I knocked on the table. “Norwegian wood.”
And then we cracked up as Kay looked on.)
Yes, that does say "Princess Storybook Dining." Wow.
What we didn’t know is that it was a “character” meal. What we further didn’t know is that it was a Princess character meal. This made things kind of interesting. See, when Snow White showed up, I apparently, um, couldn’t conceal my excitement. I’m not sure if this is a gay thing or a kid-like thing or a combo of the two, but actually seeing the characters there, in real life … I mean, the Norwegian lunch was already made of awesome. This kind of stratosphered things.
As is evident in these, um, lunatic photos:
The day wound down from there. As night edged closer, we began to pick out seats for viewing IllumiNations. After Brad and Kay had settled, I dashed back to France and picked up a selection of snacks from the patisserie, running back to where we were sitting and proffering my procurements. We leaned against the wall near the waterfront and watched the IllumiNations spectacular explode overhead, brilliant and colorful and simply amazing. Thoroughly worn out, we headed back to the car, tired and stuffed but happy. We would be sleeping well tonight.
One more day in Disney. One more entry in this series. Soon, I would be heading home. But not before one last hurrah!
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